Idiots will be Idiots
by Malformed Entity
Summary: one shot Zellphie fluff comedy. Zell’s crazy experience with bringing a blood stained Selphie to the infirmary. Boy, he was clueless.


Written for the Zellphie Revolution. 8/8/08.

Enjoy?

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"Are you sure you know how to play this?" Selphie asked as she won another card from Zell's deck. "I mean… this is kind of embarrassing…"

"Hell! I-I'm just trying to let you win, okay?" Zell stammered and threw a card down. "Your turn…"

"Well, you must be trying very hard." She giggled as she placed a card next to his.

"Yea, yea… lemme concentrate…" He stared at the two cards and then to the cards in his hand. "Uh…"

"Today, please?" Selphie smiled as she impatiently watched him finger through a few cards and shake his head.

"Alright!" The blonde threw another card down, immediately slapping his face afterwards. "See? You made me do that!"

"It's okay, Zell. If you want, I'll give you back all the cards I won." She held up the twenty cards she had won in the past five minutes.

"No, just go!" He stubbornly pushed her hand away and watched as she placed another card down with a simple grin on her face.

"Okay. You go." She bit her lips as he did another stupid move, placing the card down with no effect. She figured she could throw a game or two just to help him out. "Hmm." She placed her weakest card in the wrong spot and shrugged. "Woops?"

"Aha!" Zell threw a card into a slot, bringing most of the cards back to his side. After a few more turns, he threw his fists into the air and shouted. "OH YEAH! I WON!" He jumped up and began to do a victory dance as Selphie smiled and nodded.

"Yep… I'm defeated… you're too good, Zell." A sweat drop flew down from the side of her face as she tried to keep her laughter inside. He was so cute when he acted like an idiot. She had clearly won the twenty games before this, and yet he still acted as if he had been winning the entire time.

"You know it! I am the almighty Zell, nobody wins against me!" He began punching the air, throwing his cards behind him and kicking at nothing in particular.

"Hehe. Zell, you're an idiot." Just the sight of him so excited and happy made her smile and blush. She couldn't help but have a crush on her childhood friend; after all, they're always hanging out with each other as if they were a couple.

"Huh? You're just jealous cuz I beat you." He contended triumphantly even though he knew he had been defeated many times before his victory.

"Yep, I'm completely envious of your great card playing skills!" Selphie joked and watched him dance some more. She stood up and patted his back, handing him his card prize. A funny feeling struck her stomach, she wasn't sure if it was from touching his warm back or from something else… probably that burrito she ate the day before.

"Shah! Oh yeah!" He held the card in his hand and whooped.

It had been a fun day for the two; after a quick training session in the training center, they headed into the dorms and started playing cards in the hallway. Zell was positively certain that he could beat her after just a few easy games with a seven-year-old who lived near Ma Dincht's house. Apparently, she was a lot better at the game than he had known and suffered a whopping twenty games until she gave in and let him win. Now that they were done with their games, they both agreed to head back to the training center.

"Hey! Remember when that T-Rex was chasing after you and I totally kicked his butt while you were crying for your mom?" Selphie reminded him with a smirk on her face, trying to get him to stop gloating about his faked win.

"Yo! You promised you wouldn't tell anybody! Stop shouting it in the halls!" Zell bounced in the air and began scouting around for anyone who might have heard her. "Well, at least I didn't fall over on my ass from just walking around!" He countered as they began walking back to the training center.

"Whatever, that was because there was a crack in the floor!" Her face turned red as he continued to shout in the hallway.

"Where? Show me!" Zell ran into the training center and began examining the floor for the fabled crack in the floor. "Ha! There isn't one!"

"Right there!" Selphie pushed him forward angrily and grumbled. True, he was incredibly cute and was a person she could talk to for hours but sometimes, he could be a royal pain in the neck. "See it?" She pushed him again.

"Y-Yo! Easy on the hair!" He patted the side of his head, trying to fix his hair.

"Yo! Easy on the hair! Zell, you're such a pretty boy." She mocked him, giggling along the way.

"I know I'm a pretty boy. But a tough one!" He put on a cocky grin and flexed his muscles, showing off his well formed biceps to the girl.

"Ew, Zell. Stop that!" Selphie pushed his arm away as her face began to flush. A weird feeling took over her stomach again as she felt a little sick, probably from all the blushing. "Look!" The subject was quickly changed as a Grat tried to sneak up on them. Quickly, they took their battle stances as they entered the battle with a single grat. The monster had the opportunity to hit first and chose Zell as its target, causing the martial artist to lose balance and falling onto the brunette.

"AGH!" He pushed her down, literally sitting on her. "Sorry, Selph!" Zell quickly bounced onto his feet and threw a few fists at the Grat before returning to his friend to assist her. "You okay?"

"Owie!" She responded, rubbing the side of her thigh as she sat up. The Grat vanished before thier eyes as the blonde extended a hand to help her up. "Thanks…" She muttered under her breath as her face began to redden again.

"Any cuts or bruises?" Zell began checking her arms and face for any wounds or injuries. "I'm pretty heavy you know."

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Selphie pushed him off of her and began dusting off the back of her skirt when she discovered a wet spot on it. "AGH!"

"YOU'RE BLEEDING!" He jumped into the air as he saw the dark red ring on the back of her skirt. "Oh Hyne!" He touched the warm blood and began to panic. I am so sorry Selphie! SO SORRY!" He immediately concluded that it was his fault and took her hand, throwing her over his back to sprint to the infirmary.

"Zell! Let go of me! I'm okay! Seriously! It's just my-" Selphie started kicking and beating against his strong grip, even tearing off a few handfuls of hair.

"No! You're not! You're bleeding! I'm SO sorry Selphie! I don't even have any potions or whatever! I'll bring you to Dr. Kadowaki! She'll know what to do! Does it hurt? OF COURSE IT HURTS! I'm SORRY! WHERE DOES IT HURT?" He continued to panic, jumping over a few students and throwing the others out of the way. Selphie was irritated by his irrational thinking but just couldn't help but feel good that he cared so much about her to go to such extremes.

"Zell! Listen to me! I am fine! It is normal!" She spoke loudly but slowly this time so that he could hear.

"No it's not! It's not normal for me to fall on you and make you bleed! What if you shattered your tailbone!? What if I paralyze you for life?!" Zell questioned as he reached the front of the infirmary. "Why the hell did they put the infirmary so far away from the training center?! Wouldn't it make more sense if it was closer!?"

"ZELL! CALM DOWN! LISTEN TO ME!" She tried again but he had already made the entire way into the infirmary and almost knocked over the door as a result.

"Doctor Kadowaki! EMERGENCY!" Zell threw himself into the room, sweating and out of breath.

"Zell! What happened?" The man quickly made her way to him, seeing Selphie resting on his back.

"I fell on her, and we were fighting a Grat. And the Grat attacked me. And I fell. And on her! And now she's bleeding! And now I'm like freaking out! And she's bleeding! Look!" Zell rambled anxiously and took the girl from his back, cradling her in his arms. "SHE'S BLEEDING!"

"Let me see!" Dr. Kadowaki jumped in front of Selphie, examining her legs and touching the bloody spot with a gloved hand. "Did you hit yourself on anything sharp?

"Doctor Kadowaki! You have to trust me on this! I am fine!" She screamed, struggling to get out of Zell's grasp. As much as she loved the attention he was giving her and how he was holding her protectively in his arms, she wanted to get down.

"Shh! Selphi, you're only gonna make it worse if you move! I'll put you on a bed!" Zell ran into the single room behind him and carefully placed her onto the bed. "Please be okay! I'm sorry again!"

"Bu-!" She was cut off again as he ran out of the room, closing the door behind him and talking to Dr. Kadowaki. "Zell… you're an idiot…" She placed her feet onto the floor and walked towards the door.

"SELPHIE! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MOVING?!" Zell ran back, pushing her back onto the bed and literally strapping her onto the bed with the sheets. Even though she had never fantasized about her and Zell in bed, she really didn't want this kind of attention he was giving her with throwing her onto the bed and almost climbing on top of her to keep her down. He quickly ran back to the other room and continued his talk with the doctor. She wiggled in her uncomfortable position, trying to get off the bed with the sheets tucking her in like steel bars.

"ZELL! LET. ME. OUT!!" She screamed, but her voice would not penetrate the thick glass and metal walls of the room she was stuck in. "COME ON! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!" She began beating against the sheets until they tore under her strength. "HYNE!" Finally, the two ran back into the room, finding the petit brunette under long pieces of sheet as she angrily tried to get free.

"Okay! I told Dr. Kadowaki what happened and she's going to give you some medication first. The older woman appeared behind the blonde, holding a tray full of large syringes and a mountain of cotton balls.

"This might sting." She picked up the largest syringe of them all and squirted a bit of the medicine, making sure there were no air bubbles.

"NO! PLEASE NO! NO NEEDLES!" Selphie grabbed Zell's arm and flew off the other side of the bed, bringing him with her. "Dr. Kadowaki!"

"But you're hurt! I must see if you need surgery but first, I must give you some antibiotics incase of any bacteria you might have picked up from the training center's floor. You don't know how many people get terribly sick from that!" The woman reasoned, walking closer to the cringing girl on the floor. Selphie wanted to tell her the truth of it all but couldn't with Zell in the room. She gulped as the doctor inched closer with her syringe.

"DOCTOR! I JUST HAVE MY PERIOD!!" Selphie clenched her fists and got up, with a red and heated head. For one, she was completely embarrassed for screaming that at the top of her lungs, and second, she had just been through at least ten minutes of complete torture because of a simple misunderstanding. The older woman dropped her hand and began laughing warmly. "Zell! I told you not to freak out!"

"Wha-?! You mean, you're bleeding cuz you have your period?!" Zell stood up and backed away, a little bit disgusted as he tried to wipe his hands on his shirt.

"You might want to wash your hands, over there." Doctor Kadowaki stifled her laughing and guided the student to the sink by her desk.

"Agh! Period blood!" He continued to pout as he made his way to the sink and began violently scrubbing his hands with water and a bar of soap.

"Ah, Selphie." The doctor chuckled under her breath and patted the girl on the back. "You've got quite a guy there. He must really care about you." She nodded, expecting them to be couples.

"Uh, you got it all wrong! He's just a… really good friend!" Selphie's face began to burn as she shook her head viciously.

"Uh huh? I wouldn't say that." She turned and peeked at the blonde. He was turned around from the sink as his face turned beet red.

"Y-YO!" He stuttered, flinging his wet hands in the air and getting water all over the floor.

"Selphie, I'm going to go get a mop." Dr. Kadowaki snickered under her breath and went to another room.

"Hehe… crazy Kadowaki…" Selphie rubbed the side of her face as she continued to blush. Zell nodded and mirrored the complexion on his face. She began to smile at the innocent look on his face and giggled. "I can't believe you thought I got hurt!"

"H-HEY! I WAS… UH… Worried!" He hesitated as the words escaped from his mouth.

"Aw, Zell. Thanks!" She closed her eyes to avoid looking at him too long while her face was painted with the reddest of reds. To relieve her anxiousness, she joked. "But you're an idiot for not even letting me talk!"

"Hey! Just cuz I was totally scared you we- WHOA" Zell began to sprint towards her but slipped and tumbled into the room where Selphie stood, bringing her down with him. The floor was wet, but that wasn't why he fell. He had stumbled on his own feet from his nervousness.

"OW!" She fell, twisting her ankle as he bent his leg against the wall.

"YO!!" They were both on the floor, grunting and groaning in pain with Zell struggling on top of her as she clutched her ankle. It was just an innocent fall, but it sure didn't look like it!

"Kids! Not in here! Please!" Dr. Kadowaki shielded her eyes from the two of them on the floor, thinking they were doing something… different.

"Hyne! Can you not see that I am in pain here?" Selphie directed to the doctor, but Dr. Kadowaki was busy cringing and shielding her face.

"I do not want to hear about how you feel during your… relations!!" She turned around and shook her head. "I thought you knew better, Zell! What you do is your own business but please do not do this in the public!"

"I'm sorry I hurt you Selphie!" Zell screamed in a distressed voice, even though his leg was killing him. He finally made his way off of her and fell face down on the floor, holding his leg.

"AND YET YOU CONTINUE!" Dr. Kadowaki turned around to scold at them but found them innocently cringing on the floor with their injuries. "Oh… you guys aren't…"

"NO! NOW PLEASE HELP ME!" Selphie screamed, flinging her ankle at the doctor.

"Oh dear! I'm terribly sorry!" Soon enough, the older woman put them both on beds and treated them. Selphie had just pulled a muscle while Zell had completely broken a bone in his shin. Dr. Kadowaki nodded as soon as she finished putting a cast on Zell's leg and giving Selphie an ice pack. "You might want to get yourself cleaned off, too." She addressed the brunette, reminding her of the blood spot on her skirt.

Selphie hopped on one leg and made her way to Zell's bed, where he grumpily sat up with a stubborn look on his face. His arms were crossed and his leg was raised up with a few wires and tubes sticking into his arm. She almost broke into fits of laughter from the look on his face and how ridiculous he looked on the infirmary bed.

"How'd you fall? I don't see a crack on the floor." She bent down until her face was staring into his, with an innocent smile on her face.

"The floor was wet…" He looked away, a fresh tint of red glowing on his face.

"Haha. Zell. It's okay." She smiled with her own shade of red, looking away for a moment. "Um…Thanks for taking care of me, even though it was a total mistake… I forgot to tell you that before." She patted the top of his head and gave a brighter smile.

"Yeah whatever." He swatted her hand slowly as he tried to stop his blushing.

"When I come back, we can go play some cards!" She continued to smile.

"Yea, sure."

Selphie was unable to control herself as she planted a small kiss on his face, causing both of their faces to flush with red. "And then I'll let you win some more!"

"Yea right! I can win on my own!" Zell bounced in his seat, insulted by her comment as the blush refused to leave his face.

"Sure. Zell, you're an i-" She began, with a smile on her face

"An idiot? Yea. I know…" He turned away; being called an idiot every other minute wasn't very fun. Selphie saw the look on his face and frowned.

"Yep! But you're _my_ idiot." She gave him a hug and hopped out of the room, feeling like she had been in heaven. Zell stared blankly, unable to register that he had just been kissed on the cheek and hugged by Selphie a minute ago. Dr. Kadowaki, witnessing this the entire time, stopped Selphie and gave her a wide grin.

"Just really good friends, huh?"

-

I wrote this probably 2 years ago, when the original Zellphie Revolution was supposed to take place. :) yay Zellphie. Please check out xSummonerYunax's fanfics too. We started this revolution to promote more Zellphie fanfics.


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